Walk of Shame. In a state park.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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