butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Randomize
