I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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