if you like me you must not know who I am
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
