A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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