im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
