I intend to get homeless drunk
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
