i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
