I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
