She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
