She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
