So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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