ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
