How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
