question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
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