just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
