You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
