return my video game
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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