Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
