Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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