I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
