So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
