there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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