I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
