I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
