Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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