my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize