Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
