So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
