hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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