Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
