But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
