That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
