I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
