i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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