it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
