The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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