i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
