If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
