I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
