i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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