I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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