You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
