I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
