After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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