I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
