I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
