Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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