she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
