Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
