am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
