She is in my trunk
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
