i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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