Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
