my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
