I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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