It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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