i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
