my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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