So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
