dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
