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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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