from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
