You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i came on her dog
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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