the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
