the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
