Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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