i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
